


Pride and Mercenaries

by Creepy_Crawl3r



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Gore, Dom Wade Wilson, Drug Use, Eventual Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mildly Dubious Consent, Peter is Not Impressed, Porn With Plot, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sub Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Wade just wants to love Peter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-07-20 13:27:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19992958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creepy_Crawl3r/pseuds/Creepy_Crawl3r
Summary: Admitting who you are and who you love is the hardest part about life. Peter slowly begins to unravel as his love for Wade makes him question everything he thought he knew about himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in over a year. It definitely isn't my best work and I'm very rusty. Enjoy my cringey work.

The sunset was definitely something Peter enjoyed on his nightly patrols. He would sit on the edge with his feet kicking and savor the last bit of sunlight until stars began to freckle the sky. The only thing that interrupted those peaceful moments was usually his own mind. The doubts, the guilt, the regret. It all raced around in his brain to no end. He desperately wanted to share all this shit with someone but that wasn't exactly an option. There was no one, besides his best friend Ned, that Peter absolutely trusted with his secret identity.

Peter laid on his back with his feet still dangling precariously over the edge. The concrete of the roof was cold against his skin even through the spandex of his suit. The feeling, the 'peter tingle', raised alarms in the back of his mind. He saw no one but he heard footsteps approaching where he sat and slowing to a stop behind the brick wall that housed the stairs.

"Hello?" He knew a random person would not be on the roof of a 10 story building at 12 am.

Peter jumped to his feet and prepared himself in a defense stance as he closed the space between him and the quiet stranger.

"Hello, Spideyboy!" It was Deadpool and his entrance was less than graceful as he stumbled forward from behind the brick wall.

His suit was the familiar black and red with clumsy but sturdy patchwork and seams. Katanas were held in a criss cross fashion in sheaths on his back.

He immediately jumped back ready to attack because he knew this man, everyone did. Dead pool's just a merc with a mouth, a kill for hire psychopath that keeps his enemies close and his enemies closer.

"What do you want? Did you follow me?"

Deadpool's eyes widened even with the mask on and he cupped his cheeks innocently.

"Why would you think that?"

The joking demeanor he initially displayed dissipated when he closed the last few inches between them and that's the exact moment Peter realized just how big Deadpool was.

"Unless that's what you wanted, Spidey?"

Peter's mouth was suddenly very dry, his tongue felt thick and he couldn't speak around it.

The other man lifted his mask, slowly revealing every inch of the scars that covered his face until it was off.

"What? Did the radioactive spider get your tongue?" Dead pool traced the line of his jaw with the lightest brush of his hand and ended with him tilting Peter's face up towards his.

It was grotesque. The scars were discolored and created ridges and fissures that textured Dead pool's face. The most striking thing was his brown eyes. They bore into Peter's soul and he felt violated, he felt exposed even with his suit on.

"I-I.."  
"Ugly, right? I look like a 3rd degree burn victim that bathed in acid."

Peter was afraid to respond to that. What was he supposed to say? Yea, you totally look like overcooked bacon.

Deadpool was now so close Peter could feel the warmth of his body against his own. "You know...I would like a little show and tell. My name's Wade. How about yours?"

Peter swallowed past the lump that formed in the back of his throat. A limited amount of people knew his secret identity and he wasn't about to tell this lunatic. He attempted to put some space between them and Wade grabbed him by the elbow.

"Where ya going, baby boy? I've wanted to meet you outside of the comics for so long now."

Those brown eyes searched his face with a hunger that sent a chill down Peter's spine and he knew that if he was going to get away it had to be quick.

Peter tried to free himself from Wade's grip but the man jerked him forward and held him to his chest with an iron hold. "Le-let me go!" How is this man able to hold him? Why isn't his super strength enough? Panic quickly set in and he could hear his heartbeat thud in his ears.

Peter was the hero. He was the one that saved people and here he was not even able to help himself.

Something took over him when his panic turned into desperation. It was the willingness to do anything to get away.

Peter stopped fighting and instead followed the expanse of Wade's chest with his hands up to his shoulders. He settled them there and raised himself up on his tiptoes to place the slightest kiss on Wade's scarred lips. The other man automatically reciprocated with an intensity that took Peter's breath away.

He struggled to think past the new sensation. The feeling of broad shoulders and muscled arms, the heat that radiated from the larger man.

It's now or never

Peter lifted his leg and swiftly kneed Wade in the crotch.

\----------------------------

Peter landed on the edge of his open window almost expecting Wade to be in there. He cautiously dropped into his dark room despite the fact that he knew his senses would alert him to any presence.

When he saw with his own eyes no one was in there Peter collapsed onto the bed. He let the old mattress envelop him and absorb the adrenaline that vibrated throughout his body. Most,if not all, of Peter's energy had been wiped clean by the encounter with Wade.

Peter squeezed his eyes shut until his vision was a mirage of colors and white spots. All he saw in his mind were the brown ones that looked back at him. All he felt was the brush of Wade's hand on his jaw and him forcing Peter to look up at him. It stirred something inside him, his chest tightened with the memory of the other man trapping him in his arms.

Peter ripped his mask off and in the same action drug his hands down his face.

What is this feeling??

It's not exactly like he has a lot of experience being intimate and he can literally count the amount of times he's kissed someone on one hand.

Even though he felt utterly exhausted his mind continued to race a mile a minute. What happened terrified him as much as it peaked curiosity. Any rational person would consider that an assault but maybe Peter's daddy issues warped his thought process a bit.

He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in the black comforter that covered his bed.  
He didn't like guys, right? He always thought of himself as straight but he couldn't deny how his body...reacted. When Wade kissed him back Peter had never felt that way with any kiss before.

It was the typical angst. He was painfully aware of how stereotypical his current emotions were. So, instead of dwelling on it too much, like he did everything else, he crawled underneath his covers, suit and all then went to sleep.

The next night when he went on patrol he avoided the same rooftop. Typically he would end the night in some desolate area of the city where he wouldn't be spotted. Tonight he decided to stay in a more populated area, even though it nerve wracked him.

Peter rested against the side of the rooftop A.C  
unit. The steady hum of the high powered fan lulled him to sleep after the sleepless night he had and the long day that followed. The sound of cars honking and the bustling city below did nothing to disturb the sense of peace.

After a while his body began to ache and begged to be stretched out. Peter took off his mask for fresh air, the crisp wind that blew woke him up when it touched his bare skin. He stood up and stretched out his arms, bent backwards and sighed with relief when his back popped. He needed a break from this gig. Maybe the city could live a few days without him rescuing cats from trees.

Peter stepped away from the wall and took another deep breath before he had to put his mask back on. An arm slid around his stomach and his body automatically reacted with the same panic from the night before.

"You thought I wouldn't find you, baby boy?"

How did his senses not pick him up? Peter stiffened when Wade leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Why would you hide from me? I just want to be friends." The other man drew his earlobe in between his lips and Peter made a sound he had never heard himself make before. It was like a current went through him and his skin was set on fire. One of Wade's large hands glided down Peter's small frame until it settled on one of his hips and his breathing quickened.

"St-stop! Okay, just stop!" Peter pulled away with more force this time and turned to face Wade. He forgot he wasn't wearing his mask and the bigger man's face darkened. "God...you're so beautiful."

"Why are you doing this? I don't even know you. You can't just come up to someone and start molesting them!"

Wade let out a deep chuckle and the glint in his eyes made Peter squirm in place. "What? What's so funny?"

"You say you don't want it but your body says something entirely different."

Wade's gaze travelled down the front of Peter's body and he looked down at himself. He was hard. His face lit up a bright red with a heat that spread up to his ears and down to his chest.

"I can't do this…" The chilly night now felt hot and the sky was closing in on him. He slipped on his mask and backed further away. Peter turned on his heel and stepped onto the ledge of the roof. A part of him wondered what it would feel like to not catch himself at all or how it would feel to do it at the last minute.

"Don't do it, kid." Peter shrugged away the fake concern that came from Wade. What would a psychopath know about pain? How would he know what it felt like to constantly doubt your every action?

Tears welled in the corners of Peter's eyes and they threatened to spill out in rivers. He wiped them away with the back of his hand but it didn't do much because of the spandex.

"Please just leave me alone. I have enough to question without you throwing a wrench into the machine."

Peter stepped over the edge and free fell before he caught himself with a web.

"Peter!!"

His heart plummeted to his stomach but he didn't stop. The tears fell the further he got away from Wade. The man knew his name. Did he know where he lived? Did he know about May? It ate at him that he was stupid enough to let Wade get that close to him, again.

Once he was home he just shed his suit and climbed under the covers. He tossed and turned and tried to forget what happened. It was impossible, though.  
The feeling of Wade's lips on his skin, his hand gripping him tightly from behind. The racing thoughts about it were just as potent as when it happened. Peter's body promptly reacted to the memory and he was tempted to touch himself. He was tempted to imagine it was the bigger man's hand on him. He couldn't, though. It was too much to admit that he wanted it. That he enjoyed it. Peter rolled over and fell asleep with lucid dreams of Wade running through his mind.  
\----------------------------------

The weekend was over and Peter begrudgingly drug himself out of bed. His hair was a mess and his eyes swollen from crying the night before. The suit was scattered in three pieces in random places in his bedroom.  
"Peter, are you up?!" "Yes…" He hadn't spoken or seen Ned all weekend and he knew his best friend would want patrol details. Peter threw a faded grey shirt on that had the NASA logo on it and a pair of jeans. His worn in sneakers slipped on with ease without having to untie the laces.  
He raced through the kitchen to avoid May's questions on his appearance. A piece of toast from a plate of food she made would suffice until lunch time. He didn't want to eat anyways.

Ned was waiting outside on the front stoop and his expression of excitement quickly shifted to concern. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"  
Peter sighed and shook his head.  
"Don't worry about it dude. I just had some long nights this weekend."  
He couldn't tell, Ned. It's bad enough his sexuality is being questioned. He doesn't need to know its because of a middle-aged psychopath.

"Yo, you can't keep it all from me. I need to know these things."

Peter sighed heavily and walked ahead of his best friend. He was too tired to effectively mask how he really felt at the moment. "Peter, what is going on?" Ned ran in front of him and turned to walk backwards. "I can tell when there is something wrong with you." He leaned forward into Peter's face. "Is it MJ?" A slight blush dusted his cheeks. "No, it isn't MJ. I don't want to talk about it."  
Ned smiled from ear to ear. "Peter parker has found a bigger fish? I can't wait to meet her…" He turned around and walked by his side.

You wouldn't want to meet him. I regret meeting him.

Most of the day was uneventful. First and second period went by with Peter dozing off at his desk. Ned relentlessly poked and prodded him about the mystery 'girl' that he was pining over for most of the morning. So, when they went their separate ways he was free to be lost in his mind and go on autopilot.

Math was his third period class and he always looked forward to it. It gave him the opportunity to distract his anxiety from all the worries that plagued him on a daily basis. Peter printed his name at the top of the class assignment. He waited a good 10 minutes after the first few people turned theirs in. He hated always being the first, he got looks, he got snide remarks and it made him want to crawl under a rock.

The classroom door was opened briefly by the teacher who put the trash can out in the hallway for the janitor.

"Thanks, pal."

That voice. Peter froze in his seat with the pencil firmly gripped in his hand. You're just imagining things. There's no way he would show himself here.

Peter waited until class ended and he ran straight for the boy's bathroom. He locked himself in the handicap stall and focused on not hyperventilating. "No, no, no. I bet that's what you're thinking. How did Wadey-poo find me here?" Wade knocked on the stall door with a few raps of his knuckles. "Let me in, baby boy."

Peter gulped loudly. Every fiber in his being told him no but he got up and unlocked the door. He was wearing a janitor's outfit. That's how he got in the school without any suspicion. He just waltzed inside and assumed the role of a janitor. He could only imagine what threats he made or money he slid to someone. Wade locked the door behind him and faced Peter. The man had a cheshire grin plastered on his face, like the cat that caught the canary. Peter had enough time to blink and Wade had him pressed against the wall. His lungs ceased function when he lifted Peter and pressed a thigh in between his legs to keep him up. "Wrap your legs around my waist." "But I-" Wade did it for him and Peter really, really tried not to but he definitely made a whimper with the line of the other man's body firmly against his. "You can't get away from me." He sucked and nibbled on Peter's neck in a trail that led up to his ear. "I'm not entirely sure you want to." Wade's lips found his in a feverish kiss that had him clinging to the other man's shoulders. Wade growled into Peter's mouth when he rolled his hips and he was painfully aware of how hard he was.

Then abruptly, he dropped him. Peter could barely stand he felt so weak, his legs shook and he wasn't sure if it was from fear or something else.

"I have to go." He kissed Peter on the forehead and he couldn't even react. "I'll see you later, baby boy." He left the bathroom and he was left dazed and confused. Peter slid down to the bathroom floor and sat with his knees to his chest.  
He found out where I went to school, that means he knows where I live. Why can't I stop him? Why don't I stop him?

Peter didn't remember the rest of the day. It was all a blur and he just wanted to get home and forget everything. He ignored Ned when he asked what was wrong and if they could hang out. He ignored Aunt May when she tried to squeeze the same information out of him. He just wanted to be left alone.

He trudged upstairs to his bedroom, every step seemed to take more and more energy. He didn't get in bed this time, though. Peter opened his window instead and climbed out onto the fire escape. He looked down at his still shaking hands and made a fist to make it stop. He wasn't ready to be cooped up inside for the rest of the night but he also didn't want to be somewhere he knew Wade could just randomly appear. That seemed impossible, though. Wade was everywhere. He could find him anywhere. He thought his identity was some huge, big secret and this man knew it all along.

Wait. How long had he known? How long had he been keeping tabs on Peter? It dawned on him that if Wade was going to or wanted to out Peter, cause him actual harm, he would have gave him up. The realization hit him hard. He didn't know that much about Wade but one could assume if Deadpool wanted someone gone, they would be gone.

Peter sprawled out on the landing of the fire escape and looked over the edge to the street below. The city was always so busy. No matter the time it was loud, crowded and alive. Some wouldn't prefer it but Peter loved it. It made it easier to blend in, at least he thought. He spotted someone in the corner of his eye, just sitting on a bench towards the end of the street.  
Unmistakably it was Wade. The scars on his hands were obvious when they left the pockets of his hoodie to drink whatever was in the thermos.  
Against better judgement Peter climbed down the escape and approached the bench. His pulse thundered in his ears the closer he got. His hands were clammy with the cold sweat he suddenly began to produce.

"W-Wade?" The other man looked up from his cup. He was just sitting there leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He sat down beside him and for the first time since their meetings he felt...comfortable.  
"Do they hurt?" That was an awful thing to ask. Point out the man's obvious cosmetic defects.  
"No, they don't. It hurt when they happened, though." Peter could only imagine what would cause such extensive scars and each thing was as horrible as the next. "I know how it feels, you know." He didn't know what he meant, so he sat in silence. "I've been to that dark place where you question yourself and everything else. It's not a good place. I wouldn't advise the time share." Peter caught himself when he began to chuckle. "You know….I'm a nice person. You could have just said Hi or said I like you. Any number of things would work." Wade grabbed Peter's arm and his heart skipped a beat. "You don't understand. I rather you fear me than like me, dare say love me, everyone leaves or dies. I stay here and I'm left alone, again." Peter often had that same familiar ache in his chest about his own personal life. They sat in silence for a minute, unsure of what to say next. Wade then got up and reached his hand out to Peter. His face was guarded with no expression and honestly for the first time he wondered if everyone was wrong about this man. "Let's go to my place." "I-I don't know. It's getting late and I have school tomorrow." Wade leaned over to whisper in his ear "I'll get you home in time." and Peter bit his bottom lip nervously. "I guess.."

When they got to Wade's place, Peter was very underwhelmed. Supposedly as Deadpool, well rumors had it that Wade made a shit ton of money doing hits. Yet, his apartment was minimalistic as shit. He barely had any furniture. A coffee table that had shapes and names carved into it and a knife wedged down into the wood. A small island in the kitchen that had limited kitchen space, maybe enough for a bulkie grown man, that was it. He had a bed at the far side of the room that definitely had seen better days and sheets that were obviously very old . Besides that, it was neat. The studio apartment had hardwood floors with blood stains on them, mostly by the bed and led towards the bathroom. "Wade...what's with all the blood?" The other man shrugged. "It's not important, shit happens." Peter walked through the open living room, noticing things here and there that opened Wade's personality up to him. Comics, a shit ton of comics, a pile of magazines, mostly pornos. The walls were bare save for a few shelves that had books on them, like legitimate books. Wade was instantly by his side with a smooth quip. "Don't tell anybody I'm a nerd. It'll ruin this whole badass reputation I have going for me."  
The corner of Peter's mouth turned up a little. "You're talking to the biggest nerd this side of Queens, secrets safe." Wade pulled him closer by his shirt and left his lips less than an inch from Peter's. "I guess I could do it right and ask." "It's um, kind of sudden, yea? I just got here." A deep chuckle vibrated through Wade's chest. "But I promised to get you home on time." This was all new, it was all strange and he wasn't sure what to do besides kissing, especially with a man. Peter closed the distance and the lips pressed against his curved into a grin when he moaned. His big hands found his ass and lifted him up a bit with the kiss. He held onto Wade's hoodie, which seemed like too much clothing but he really wasn't sure if he wanted it all off yet.

"Fuck, you really have no idea how beautiful you are. Those puppy dog eyes looking up at me like I'm the big bad wolf that'll eat you." Wade lowered Peter and he dropped down to his knees. "Wha-what are you doing." Wade hastily got his jeans undone and within a second they were around his ankles. His mouth found the hard outline of his erection in his boxer briefs and his hands spasmed looking for something to grab onto. He leaned back against the wall, bracing himself with his arms. Peter's breathing paused for a moment when Wade found the head of his cock and his warm breath made him shudder with pleasure. "Oh God…." Wade's mouth worked around every inch of him through the briefs. The friction of the cloth, Wade's warm, wet mouth sucking at him achingly slow. Peter felt unimaginably close already, the intense feeling was building up until he was left whimpering and twitching for release. "You want to come for me, Baby boy? Hmm?" Peter nodded quick enough it made him dizzy. "Please, please Wade." He pulled his cock out of his briefs and the warmth of his mouth on his bare skin was too much. He hollowed his cheeks as he pulled back to the tip and his tongue pressed on the under side. "Call me, Daddy." "Wh-what?" "I said, call me Daddy."Wade started a steady rhythm on his cock and moans that came from Peter seemed to fuel him even more. The other man focused on the tip for entirely too long, he could barely focus his eyes on anything around him.The pressure built in his abdomen with each stroke of Wade's mouth, his thighs struggled to keep him upright and he held onto Wade's thick shoulders. "Daddy, daddy, I'm going to cum." He moaned it like a chant as Wade swallowed him and milked every drop. It was the hardest he had ever came in his life. His legs were instantly weak, he was instantly exhausted and he slumped back against the wall by one of the shelves. Wade tucked him back in, pulled up his pants and planted a kiss on his lips. "You are amazing." He kissed him on the tip of his nose and a big smirk spread across his face. "I promise to treat you like homework every opportunity I get." Peter couldn't wrap his head around much right now but that definitely didn't make sense. "What?" Wade giggled like a child and sniffed his hair like a mad man. "Slam you on the table and do you all night." Peter's face lit up bright red and he got a kiss on the cheek. "You are so innocent….I love it."

Peter went to the bathroom on wobbly legs that could barely hold him up. When he finally made it he locked the door behind him and sat on the closed toilet seat. What did I get myself into?

He looked around the mostly empty bathroom, the only thing that kept it bare was…more blood stains. He knew he shouldn't be noisey but he got up and looked in Wade's medicine cabinet. There were orange bottles of medicine that Peter immediately recognized as painkillers just because of his own experience. Vicodin, Dilaudid, Percocets...jesus christ. He looked underneath the sink and his heart plummeted straight to the bottom of his stomach like a lead weight. Bloody bandages, stained razor blades and old knives. Did Wade cut himself? Well, technically, the man could cut out a chunk and it would grow back. Still, the thought made him sympathize with the older man. Peter himself dealt with those issues for years.  
When he left the bathroom he tried his best to not reveal what he had found. Wade was sitting on the couch that definitely had broken springs and couldn't withstand the man's weight. "You okay?" Peter nodded because he really didn't trust his voice with the lump in the back of his throat. There was no way anyone could tell Wade hurt himself, he was covered in scars and that made his heart ache even more. "I'll walk you home, yea?"

On the way home Wade muttered under his breath the whole time in between the few things they said to each other. He wasn't sure what happened in the living room while he was in the bathroom, but something was definitely off now. "Hey, I have an idea. No, no that is stupid. Shut up." Puzzeled he looked around trying to justify the odd ramblings that were spoken after 10 minutes of silence. "Y-you, okay?" When Wade's eyes met his it was an empty gaze that had Peter take a few steps back. "You know, we don't really know your motive. You were so scared and now you're concerned?" Wade grabbed him by the collar of his shirt before Peter even had the chance to defend himself. This was Deadpool, this was the manic ass no one trusted, that no one would come within a mile radius of. "W-wade, I don't know what you're talking about! What's wrong?" He knew this was all a mistake. He knew it was only a matter of time the trust and sympathy he placed in this man would bite him in the ass. Tears began to well up in his eyes and it's like it flipped a switch. Wade abruptly dropped him and without a word, he ran off.  
What the fuck??

Peter stood up and brushed off his knees. When Wade dropped him he fell straight to the concrete. Where do I go from here? A part of him really wanted to...save him. How could you save a man though that obviously thought he wasn't worth it? He had school in the morning and for once none of that shit mattered. He didn't care about his grades, he didn't care if May found out. That alone shocked Peter. When did this change in him happen? He shouldn't act upon these feelings. Nothing good would come out of this situation in his or Wade's present state of mind.

He buried the unwanted emotions the best he could and walked around the side of the building to the fire escape. Peter knew it was all in his head but he had difficulty getting up the ladder and ignoring everything that happened.

When he finally made into his room he closed the window and paused before he locked it. Something inside wanted to leave it open, wanted to be woken up by someone who called him baby boy. It was ridiculous, he was being irrational if he thought anything healthy could happen between them.  
But what if?

He shed each article of clothing bit by bit and dropped them into the nearby clothes hamper. The full body mirror on the inside of his open closet door revealed the empty expression that reflected how he felt. Peter spotted something dark on his neck...a bruise...no a hickey. He choked back tears that really made no sense to him. He shouldn't have allowed himself to open up, even the little bit he did.

With a heavy sigh he crawled into his bed and wrapped himself up like a burrito. Slowly his eyes became heavy and the much needed sleep took over him. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, though. He tossed and turned. He woke up countless times in a cold sweat he had no explanation for. Finally he sat up, resigning to the fact that sleep just wasn't an option.  
Peter eyed the suit that was laid out on the chair in the corner of his room. Maybe some fresh air would help.  
Suit doned he climbed up the side of his building and swung himself up and onto the roof. The sound of sirens perked his ears, fire trucks, ambulances and officers. He gave himself a running start, jumped off the roof and caught himself with a web. Building to building the sense of dread increased in his chest. What happened?

He landed on top of a bank and the scene below made his stomach roll. Four dead civilians, three patrol cars acted as a barricade for an onslaught of gun fire that was aimed in their direction. He couldn't see who the perp was and that made him nervous. A loud thump behind him alerted him to the presence of someone else on the roof. Peter rolled his eyes because he knew of only one person that wouldn't affect his senses besides friends and family. "Sorry I'm late. The traffic was horrible on the way here and my taxi driver wouldn't stop begging for my extra taco."

Deadpool took Peter's hand into his and against better judgement Peter allowed the man to pull him in. "I want to say I'm sorry, sugar lips. I don't deal well with emotions and all that." Peter worried at his inner cheek, he wanted to say it's okay but if this is going to be a pattern behavior…

"Baby boy." He pecked him on the lips. "Let me make it up to you after this." Another kiss on his cheek bone. "I really shouldn't have listened to them." Wade buried his face in Peter's neck and breathed in his scent. "I'll explain later. You need to be a hero and I need to reluctantly help be a hero, okay?" Peter resigned with a heavy sigh. "Alright, let's do this."

Peter swung into the air attaching a web to a light pole and landed gracefully behind the officers. Wade...Wade jumped from the roof and broke a leg. He hobbled over to Peter with a goofy grin and shrugged his shoulders. "I was trying to impress, not that good at the super hero landing yet. It's a work in progress." Peter turned away so Wade wouldn't see the amused smile on his face. That was when he noticed the officers who had startled expressions and guns aimed at them. "A little warning, boys. You shouldn't just...land in here kid."

"Who is it? Have you seen them yet?" The captain shook his head as he approached the suit clad heroes. "All I know is that they obviously aren't afraid of shooting or being shot. Four officers were shot down before backup could arrive and not much has happened since then. No demands, no communication. I don't know what they want and we are no closer to stopping this."

Wade clapped his hands together then jumped up and down like a little child. "Pick me, pick me!." He unsheathed a katana and his demeanor switched to the merc everyone feared and hated."It's been awhile since I've had my Bathory fix." Peter tried to be scared but the reference seriously threw him off. "You're going to bathe in the blood of women?" He winked at Peter and the smile that curved his lips definitely chilled him to the bone. "How do you think I stay so beautiful, baby boy?" Peter blushed hot red under his mask. "Shut up.."

"So, I'm just going to march my pretty butt in there and knock off some heads?" Wade turned to the captain. "Does that sound good? I mean they can't be a higher level than me."

Peter held up a hand. "We don't need to kill unless it's necessary. I'll try to get their attention." Wade's jaw dropped dramatically and he clutched his chest like Peter had offended him."For your information Ms. Goody, they/he/she already killed people. It's only right I do the same thing. Besides, you can't stop me." Peter looked up at the sky for a minute to calm down. Time was being wasted arguing about this shit, the longer this went on, the more people got hurt or killed.

"Okay, list-" Wade jumped over the patrol cars and was skipping down the street towards the shop they had holed themselves in. "Are you fucking serious?!"  
"You sound sexy when you cuss!"

Peter stormed off in a huff. It did not help he already felt tension between them and now Wade did that stupid stunt. "Spiderman, are you going to join him?" The captain looked very nervous about the fact that Deadpool was the one who went in to save the day. "God...I wanted to wait and now I have to do damage control."  
Peter rarely let his anger get this much control but Wade had screwed him up mentally, emotionally, something was wrong with him.  
He ran after the other man as fast as he could keep up. Wade had already gotten in the building and had obviously caused an uproar he couldn't see yet.

"Okay, okay, I'll drop the gun. Please jus-"

Peter ran in just in time to see Wade cut the man's hand off. "Jesus Christ, Wade!" He shot his web and tore the katana out of Wade's hands. "What is wrong with you?"

When he turned around Peter's heart skipped a beat. His suit was covered in blood, the white of his mask was splattered with it. He let the katana fall to the ground with a metallic clang that echoed in the building. "Baby, it isn't that bad. He was going to….I didn't kill him, I simply disarmed him." Peter pinched the bridge of nose, which made his head hurt even worse. "Go, Wade." "But-" "Just go!" He wrapped the perp in a web he couldn't break out of, muffled his mouth and closed off the wound.

He ran back to the barricade and informed the captain that everything was over and taken care of. Wade followed him and when he attempted to crawl up the wall in an alleyway he grabbed his ankle. "Let go, Wade." He yanked Peter down and he fell in a heap on the concrete.

"What do you want from me? First you harass me, then you follow me around. I go with you to your place and just when I started to trust you, you had a mental breakdown. What the fuck do you want!" He felt the hot tears under his mask and it began to cloud his vision, so he tore it off. He wiped his eyes and his nose, it was the definition of ugly crying.

Wade took off his mask too and the look of despair crushed Peter when he knew it shouldn't have. "Do you have any idea how long I've been alone? How long its been since I actually allowed myself to feel anything? How about how much it hurts to go in public because people take one look and think you're a monster?"

Peter swallowed past the thickness in his throat, he couldn't breathe and was pretty this was the beginning of a panic attack or some type of meltdown. Peter didn't remember ever being this unstable until he started to interact with this man.  
He leaned back against the cold brick wall and let the realness of it ground him to reality. Wade stepped closer to him, put a hand on the wall beside his head and leaned down to his level.

"I like you, Peter Parker. I am a damaged, broken, empty fucking man. You can choose to stick around and watch me heal, or you can leave...like everyone else."

The tears continued to fall but he knew, he knew he wanted this as much as he wanted to run. He wanted to...trust someone, he wanted to feel protected from the evils of the world and Wade was the definition of that. Was it that selfish to want to be rescued by a man who needed rescuing himself, maybe, but at the moment it almost seemed the right thing to do.

He cupped the side of Wade's face, felt the scars that caused him so much pain. Traced his cheekbones and jawline, the ridge of his brow bone and nose. How could anyone not see past them? He stood on his tip toes and kissed Wade so softly it was more of a caress.

"You are beautiful, Wade, but I have to go. I need some time."

Peter heard him calling after him but he needed to get away. He needed his head cleared and the only way to do that was space. The man made him irrational, illogical and he wasn't used to being this unsure about any decision.

In every way possible this was unusual, to most it would definitely seem wrong and unhealthy. He didn't stop running until his apartment building was in sight and his lungs had begun to burn. When he got up to the landing of his fire escape he collapsed in exhaustion, he had been out too long and it was obviously a mistake for him to have left in the first place.

The birds chirped and the sun was taking its place in the sky, replacing the moon. He didn't want to go to school. He didn't want to listen to Ned's questions and the curious eyes who would notice how distraught he was. Peter was pretty sure the culmination of what happened the last couple days had caught up to him and he just didn't have the mental or emotional energy to cope. If that was how it would be to have Wade around,did he really want it? Could Peter actually deal with it and stay sane himself?


	2. Chapter 2

Days went by, then weeks. Peter's life went back to being relatively normal but he missed something. Each morning he woke up he glanced out his window to see if the familiar figure was on that bench. When he walked home from school he was hypervigilant, glanced over his shoulder, checked around corners. He wanted to see Wade but he also wanted to know if the much needed space would give him the clarity he needed. The days Wade followed and harassed him had completely overwhelmed him and overloaded his brain in such a short period of time. That wasn't healthy, that wasn't okay. Peter wasn't a huge believer of love at first sight and he highly doubted Deadpool would be the source of it. 

Ned walked by his side that morning in silence because neither of them had fully woken up yet. The sound of their footsteps slightly echoed in the street because traffic in his neighborhood was minimal that early in the day. 

"You know, you've been a bit off lately. Everything okay?" 

Peter shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't noticed he was off or that his demeanor had changed much. He knew his mind was more preoccupied with school and readjusting after what had happened with Wade. 

"Uh, I guess? I don't really know what you mean, though." 

Ned scoffed but didn't say anything else. Peter surmised his friend had finally figured out that prying wouldn't give him the answers he wanted. Their friendship had...dwindled away. Maybe that's what he meant? They didn't hang out as much, Peter had stopped playing video games and focused on just school. His obsession with M.J had came to a complete halt. 

Peter had changed. Something was wrong, he wasn't the way he used to be and he wanted the old version of himself back. 

How was he supposed to be that person again?

Wade showed him a side of himself he didn't know he had. He gave him something he had never experienced before. How do you forget that? 

When they reached the front steps of the school Ned fist bumped him and they went separate ways. It had been so long since everything happened it was a new semester and they no longer shared the same classes. 

Peter sighed before he walked into the crowded hallway to find his locker and grab the books he needed for the first two classes. It was too loud, people were too close, the lights were too bright. Everything was too much. 

In his first period he found a seat at the back of the classroom and tuned everyone else out. He nodded off occasionally over his textbook as he read stuff that was definitely common sense to him. He doesn't consider himself above average intelligence but to not say he didn't get bored easily would definitely be a lie. 

Periodically throughout class the teacher's gaze landed on Peter and he did his best to ignore the obvious concern. He knew he looked tired and he saw the new bags under his eyes he didn't use to have. His ability to sleep at night had nearly been eliminated as of late and he knew the reason for that as well. 

When class ended Peter shoved his textbooks back into his satchel bag and slid it onto one shoulder. He made a beeline for the door but the teacher made it to him before he could reach it. 

He was really, really getting tired of everyone who had the same damn question. 

"Parker, are you okay?" The teenager rolled his eyes with a huff but didn't reply. 

"Listen, if there is something wrong at home you can tell anyone here and you won't get in trouble." 

He couldn't stop the smirk and he couldn't stop the scoff because it was all the time now. 

"I live with one person, Aunt May, everyone knows that. There is nothing wrong at home, there is nothing wrong with me." 

Peter stormed out of the classroom and a pang of regret ate at his stomach. Why did he do that? She just wanted to know if he was alright. 

Wade had seriously fucked him up, fucked up everything about him. He wouldn't admit it to anyone else and he wouldn't admit it to himself. He never slept because all he saw was Wade Wilson. All he felt was his lips, his hands, his browns eyes that saw to the core of Peter's soul.

How did that man get under his skin so quickly? 

The rest of the school day was a blur. He met up with Ned afterwards and they walked home together as usual. Peter had no idea what his friend had said the entire walk but he saw his lips moving. The other teen wasn't oblivious to it but he didn't address it. 

When he got home he bypassed his aunt in the kitchen and went straight to his room. He didn't want interaction with anybody, they all wanted to know what was wrong with him. 

He sat down at his desk and stared at the blank computer screen in front of him, willing it to tell him what to do. His phone burned a hole in his pocket because more than anything he wanted to contact Wade. It would be so simple to find his number and get a hold of him. The time he was around the other man he felt like he would go insane. Maybe that was because Wade had him question shit about himself he didn't want to face. Maybe it was because Wade was unstable and him being around did the same to him, he wasn't sure. 

Peter wasn't sure of anything anymore and that scared the hell out of him. He liked plans, he wasn't big on spontaneous action and that's all Wade was. A huge spontaneous, psychotic action. 

He leaned back in his computer chair to stare up at the ceiling and all it did was stare back at him. Nothing had the answers but him, no one could give him any insight on what to do. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at the browser icon. He decided to look up information on Deadpool, he might regret it but he wanted, no, needed to know. 

Peter typed it in the search bar and a dozen articles and images popped on the screen. 

Murders, body count, information on not just Deadpool but Wade Wilson himself. He used to be in the military and turned into a hire to kill mercenary. It turned Peter's stomach when he saw the victims that all the articles showed and he was tempted to close it out. He noticed though that most, if not all, of his victims were awful people. 

Gang leaders, pedophiles, arsonists. Peter guessed Deadpool wouldn't be classified as a villain then, more so an antihero. Which isn't as bad but he still did some pretty fucked up things. He read more into Wade's background and god was it tragic. No wonder the man was psychotic. 

Peter even found a business site for people who enquired Wade's services and it honestly made him chuckle a bit. It was directly worded as you would assume it to be. He scrolled down and saw the contact section on the site that listed his phone number. He worried at his bottom lip and immediately closed the page after he bookmarked it. 

He needed more time, he needed more distance and he had to really think about it instead of ignoring shit. 

Peter pushed away from the desk and stood up. He needed to shower and he hoped the steam would release some tension from his muscles. 

Peter stripped his clothes off and left them in a dirty pile on the bedroom floor and padded barefoot to bathroom. Perks of the bathroom being joined to his bedroom were that he didn't feel the need to run from one room to the next. 

He turned the water on, adjusted the temperature and stepped under the hot water. The heat immediately relaxed him and the anxieties of the day withered away and went down the drain. 

Peter's mind trailed off to thoughts of Wade, per usual, and as always the memories of Wade's hand on him quickly made him hard. He still hadn't touched himself to the thought of the other man. He guessed it was because he was afraid it would make it all seem...real. It would be like admitting that yea, Peter likes guys. 

The memory of Wade's mouth on his cock though was an intense one. It made him throb with the need for release, something he hadn't given himself in awhile.

Peter started with a slow stroke that helped with how hard he felt, his cock twitched when he reached the tip and he bit the inside of his cheek. 

He quickened his pace, stroking from base to mid length in a steady rhythm that sharpened his breathing. Peter leaned back against the shower wall for balance and spread his legs a bit to help as well. He cupped his balls with his other hand as he jerked off and it made him whimper as he imagined it being Wade's hand. With his eyes closed it was easier to pretend and it was easier to give into the sensation that overwhelmed all his other senses. 

Peter moaned lightly as he rubbed over the sensitive tip repeatedly then followed up with a rough stroke. "Jesus.." He jerked off roughly as he got closer to his climax, his thighs spasmed with the build up of pleasure right before he was about to come. 

Peter threw his head back and bit down on his lip when he came and his load shot in thick streaks onto the shower curtain. 

He rested there for a moment before he cleaned off his hand and the curtain all the while he thought about what he had done. 

He liked it, it felt good when Wade had done that and...he wanted it again. Right? 

Peter washed the rest of his body, his hair and turned off the shower. It helped him in a way that he finally gave in but it didn't help the argument that Wade Wilson was undeniably insane. 

How would the other man react once he reached out to him after this silence between them? Wade could have honestly been watching him this whole time without him being the wiser, he did it before. 

Peter had thought about why his senses didn't alert him whenever Wade had been around, it was because the man posed no threat. Despite the fact that he was Deadpool, a ruthless mercenary with a twisted but strong moral code, he wasn't a threat. He had no ill intentions, so what was wrong with Peter? Why the fuck was he so scared. 

\--------------------

A few more days went by with the page still book marked on his phone. It taunted him and called out to him whenever he had nothing else to distract his brain. The school week was over and Peter had decided for the first time in awhile he was going to go on a night patrol. He had neglected those duties for the sake of avoidance, he pushed it away like everything else. 

Peter walked across the rooftop with the noisy city below him that sounded like violent background music. He climbed up the building because it had been awhile since he actually used his webs and he was a tad nervous. Someone had seen him but he scurried up the wall (like a spider) out of sight as soon as they spotted him. 

He had this remarkable ability to sike himself out of anything he over thought. Wade wasn't some innocent civilian that was defenseless. He wasn't some loved one he could lose because the man was immortal. Peter had begun to run out of reasons why he shouldn't contact the other man. 

Peter pulled off his mask and sat down in the middle of the roof out of sight. He didn't get very far in this patrol and he hadn't really expected to either. He retrieved his phone from the built in pocket and pulled up the website then copy and pasted the number into his keypad. 

The teenager took a deep, shaky breath before he pressed the phone icon and the line started to ring. 

There was a loud shuffle noise and a man cleared his throat. It was 2 in the morning. 

"It's a little too late for booty calls. Leave a mess-" 

"Wade…" 

The other man paused and it was an absolute silence that stopped the beating of Peter's heart. 

"Peter." 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I took so long. I'm sorry I freaked out and I ran away. I'm so sorry that I just disappeared. I didn't know what to do and I still don't but I miss you. I rather fig-" 

"Stop apologizing. Your mouth diarrhea is too much and it isn't necessary." 

Peter has never known Deadpool or Wade Wilson to be short on words. He must be pissed, he must be hurt, he must want to completely write him off as a lost cause. 

He was ready to hang up the phone and run back home and hide. Peter finally mustered up the courage to reach out and Wade was pushing him away. 

"I get it, I'm sorry I called you this late. It won't happen again." 

"Pet-" The moment he hung up the phone he began to cry uncontrollably. Why did he think that he could just step back into what they had? 

He pulled his mask back on and swung down from the roof. When he got to the street he ran home as fast as he could. 

Once he reached his apartment and climbed into his bedroom, Peter struggled out of his suit and ran to the bathroom. He fell to his knees and threw up a few times, clinging onto the toilet. When he emptied his stomach he rested his face on the seat and caught his breath in between violent intervals of hyperventilation. 

He was fucking stupid.

Peter crawled to his bathroom sink and fumbled underneath for a pill bottle he stored painkillers in. He dumped a few out in the palm of his hand and picked out the ones he wanted. 

Peter dry swallowed three pills and went back to the toilet seat in case he threw up again. 

He was fucking stupid. 

There was a knock on his bedroom door and he ignored it. He must have woken up Aunt May when he ran into the bathroom to projectile vomit a handful of times. 

Peter hated himself right now more than he had in awhile. His fucking anxiety ruined something, again. He pushed someone away because he was scared of the unknown, again. He fucked up, again. 

He stood up from the toilet and caught himself on the bathroom sink with a hand. He stood up to fast and almost lost his balance because the room spun. 

By the time Peter actually made it to his bed he was barely conscious and barely able to form a thought, which is exactly what he wanted. He laid on his back and as nothingness began to take over him a weight at the end of his bed startled him. 

Peter forced his eyes open and saw the man he had ignored for so long and just hung up on. Wade didn't look happy, in fact, he looked incredibly pissed. 

The older man grabbed him by the wrists and forced him to sit up. He propped Peter up with an arm around his back. 

"I thought you would do something stupid." 

He still didn't look happy but his eyes were at least calmer. 

"I don't know what to say…" Peter wasn't even sure if he said that out loud or not because Wade didn't reply. 

"Are you done running? I don't want you to run anymore." Peter did all he could to reply, which was a very weak nod of his head.  
Wade picked him up and walked to the head of the bed. He pulled down the covers and laid Peter in the middle then got in beside him. 

"Just go to sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."

He was fucking stupid. 

When Peter woke up he panicked because Wade wasn't in the bed anymore and he thought he left. He deserved it if Wade had decided to leave, but he didn't, he sat in Peter's computer chair with his eyes closed. His lips were slightly parted and his chest fell with gentle breaths that told Peter Wade was asleep. 

He got out of the bed quietly to use the bathroom then he brushed his teeth. He looked in the mirror and suddenly realized Wade had seen him in just his briefs. Normally it wouldn't bother him but these were not boxers or even boxer briefs. It was the black equivalent of tidy whities. He wore that type of underwear with his suit so it wouldn't bunch up and get on his nerves. 

Peter blushed with embarrassment, what teenager still wore briefs by choice was probably what Wade thought. 

The teen left the bathroom and tiptoed to his dresser to throw some pants on. When he bent over he felt the heat of the other man's body behind him. 

"Your tight ass looks great in those." Wade pulled him up by his hair and Peter whimpered. 

"I'm still mad. I'm not mad you stopped talking to me, I'm mad about what you did last night. What the fuck were you thinking, kid?" 

Peter had no rational or logical reason to throw back at Wade. He knew it was stupid, he knew if he had taken just a few more, last night could have ended much differently instead of him just falling asleep. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, I just wanted to shut my brain up and sleep." 

Wade turned him around and held his face between both hands. His brown eyes were full of so much pain and worry, Peter felt immensely guilty because of his stupidity. 

"What would I do if I actually lost you?" 

Peter could imagine. Wade would more than likely devolve completely, go into a depression and go on a rampage. 

May would be left without him, without anyone. 

How the fuck could he be so selfish?

He pulled away from Wade and sat on the edge of the bed. What was happening to him? 

The big man didn't say anything for awhile, he just returned to the computer seat and watched Peter. 

"I'm sorry. I-I think there's something wrong with me." 

Peter fought back tears because he knew what caused part of the instability. Everytime he got close to someone, something happened to them. Either they got hurt, left, or he pushed them away. Peter didn't know how to properly function around other people, let alone be in a relationship. When he became infatuated with someone it consumed him and was all he thought about. He was scared that would happen with Wade and then suddenly the man would be gone. 

He went back to the dresser and picked out a pair of black jeans and a white t shirt. Peter desperately needed to eat something. He didn't have lunch nor dinner yesterday and his stomach had began to devour itself. 

Wade sat in the same spot as Peter continued to get ready for school. He walked around his room aimlessly not really aware of what he was originally looking for. 

"You okay, kid?" Peter shook his head but he didn't say anything, he just went in the bathroom and wet down his hair, washed his face. Peter's eyes were bloodshot from all the crying he did last night. His lips were cracked because he was dehydrated and his skin extremely clammy. He could have overdosed and the thought hadn't occurred to him when he swallowed those pills. That scared him, a lot. 

He tore his gaze from the mirror because he didn't recognize that person. That was a complete stranger, that was someone who wasn't scared to die and was sad as fuck it hadn't happened. 

Peter clicked off the bathroom light and stood in the darkness for a moment before he walked back into his bedroom. 

Wade still sat in the computer chair and Peter couldn't look him in the eyes. He knew the man understood better than anyone else he knew but he still didn't have the strength to open up, to let someone in. 

"Okay, well, thank you for...everything. I'm sorry I scared you." 

When Peter opened the bedroom door Wade slammed it shut and he jumped. 

"No, that doesn't warrant a simple 'I'm sorry'. You don't get to come that close to an overdose, pass out in my arms and think an apology fixes everything." Wade violently turned him around and pushed him back against the door with a thump. 

"I-I'm sorry, Wade." 

No, No. That wasn't tears he saw beginning to form in Wade's eyes. Wade Wilson, Deadpool, wasn't crying over some stupid mistake he made. It crumbled up everything he had glued together inside and crashed down in an avalanche. 

"The number of people I've lost Peter is bigger than the number of years you've been alive. I know I'm fucking psychotic, I know it's alot. I've gone through hell and back for the people I have dared to love only to lose them one way or another. I cannot lose you, too. You have no right to be that selfish." Tears freely flowed from the older man's eyes and Peter began to hyperventilate. Did Wade just implied he loved him? 

Peter pushed past him, he was claustrophobic, this was too much. 

"You love me?!" It was a hysterical question, even he heard the manicness in his voice. 

Wade grabbed Peter and held him in his arms from behind. "I love you." 

"Peter Parker, you are going to be late for school!!" 

Aunt May yelled from downstairs and it anchored him back to reality. He let out a few shaky breaths then wiggled out of Wade's arms. 

"I have school." 

Wade nodded in acknowledgement but didn't say anything he went to the window and climbed out onto the landing of the fire escape. 

"I will call you later."

Peter chewed on his lips a bit. 

"I want to see you." 

"Okay." 

\-------------------------------------

The walk to school was arduous. Ned hadn't shown up or maybe he did and left because he didn't want to be late. Peter didn't really care, he needed time to himself. He needed to replay what happened, he needed to make sure Wade really said those words. 

That it wasn't some sleep deprivation induced delusion. He wanted to believe it as much as he didn't want to because it scared him. 

When Peter got to school the hallway was flooded with students who were running behind like him. He wanted to blend in with the environment and be invisible. He wanted no questions and no concerned looks or sympathetic are you okays. 

He spotted M.J. beside his locker and their eyes met before his reverted back to his feet as he walked over to her. 

"Peter...you look li-" 

"I know, thanks." 

He rubbed his arm and hunched in on himself as much as possible. 

"You need to open up to someone, you need to tell someone what's wrong. We are all worried about you." 

That made Peter look up at her with an arched eyebrow. "You're all worried about me? You mean just you and Ned. I'm not exactly high on the totem pole." 

M.J. fiddled with the straps of her book bag but she said nothing else. Peter had gotten really good at pushing people away. He shouldn't do it to her, though. They used to be so close, him and Ned too. 

He let his fucked up head fuck up every other aspect of his life. What good was a relationship or love if he felt the need to hide it? 

"It's a guy." 

Her eyes widened and her lips parted in a slight O. 

"I didn't kno-" 

"I didn't either. I don't really want to talk about it. It's been eating at me." 

M.J's eyes softened and she hugged Peter tightly to her chest. In the past that small action would have made Peter's heart skip a beat, it would have made his knees weak. 

"Thank you, I have to use the bathroom before class. I'll see you later." 

They parted ways and Peter for the first time felt like a weight was lifted off his chest. He hadn't said everything but just that small bit helped him breathe just a little bit easier. Maybe one day he could tell her or someone else everything, maybe. 

Peter locked himself in a stall and sat down on the toilet. He didn't really need to use the bathroom he just needed to calm himself before he was immersed by other people in class. 

He felt like he was stuck in a rut. He hadn't moved forward with how he felt, he wasn't any closer to knowing what he wanted to do. There was no development and he was going through the same cycle and thought process. 

Peter needed to run away or just jump head first into the situation, into Wade. It was all or nothing because Peter over thought everything to the point of self-inflicted torture. 

He checked the time on his phone and sighed because the tardy bell was going to ring soon. It was time to get another day done and over with. 

\-------

At the end of the school day Peter walked home by himself, still no sight of Ned. Maybe his friend finally gave up on him, it wouldn't surprise him. 

Peter had been in so much pain it was hard to maintain the smile that made people want to be around him. The more he thought about what he had been through it seemed ridiculous he would get this upset over one person. 

Peter wasn't a stranger to life changing events and shit that turns your life upside down. 

The streets were busy, it was full of chaos and a crowd of people that left no room for personal space. Peter got tired of the ones that brushed into him, stepped on his feet. He wasn't in the mood, it riled up an anger that he usually didn't have to worry about. 

He escaped into an alley between the buildings and scaled the side of one of them onto the roof. He breathed in the slightly polluted air and it somewhat relaxed the moodswing that had taken over him. 

A part of him wanted to embrace the anger he occasionally experienced. He wanted to know what it felt like to not worry about the moral high ground that defined the reputation he developed for himself. Maybe he was a bit more like Wade than he thought. There was a point in time in his life that he wanted revenge, he wanted to take out his anger on the ones who wronged him. 

Peter looked down at his hands and flexed them in and out of fists. How bad would it be, was he afraid he might like it too much? That maybe once he did it, he would like it too much and never stop? He remembered the anger he felt after Uncle Ben, how badly he wanted to eviscerate the ones who killed him. It took so long to gain control of that rage. 

Peter's shoulders heaved with the breath he inhaled and released slowly. He shook his head as if to shake away the intrusive thoughts. 

No, he could not go down that destructive path and ruin the image he had created for himself, for Spiderman. 

Peter went from one rooftop to the next as discreetly as possible to get home. The potential of getting caught far outweighed how much he did not want to be around other people right now. 

He dropped down right up the block from his apartment building and blended into the crowd of people that stood at the intersection. 

Peter saw a man whose eyes were trained on him and he glared back. The man quickly turned his head the other way and avoided eye contact.

When he got home he changed his clothes into something more comfortable. He slipped on a loose black shirt, a pair of black track pants and he pulled a beanie over his head. 

He snuck past Aunt May's line of sight but shouted out to her. 

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back around dinner." 

Peter had severely neglected his superhero duties and he honestly didn't care, which was bad, it was a sign. He should have gone on patrol, tried to save a cat, helped an old lady across the street. It wasn't like he saved the world or anything, even the city. 

Everyone viewed Spiderman as a kid. They saw him as some weak, goodie two-shoes that didn't like hurting bad guys and getting his hands dirty. 

Peter was on the verge of being done with that side of himself. What good had it done him? How far had it gotten him being the nice guy? 

He trotted down the stairs before his Aunt could inquire his destination and stepped back into the foot traffic. Everyone avoided his line of sight, avoided coming near him. 

Peter broke into a steady paced jog. A good run helped whenever he felt the need to punch someone's face in. It got the adrenaline up and effectively cleared his mind. 

He stopped at an intersection about 3 blocks down and bent over with his hands on his knees to catch a breath. He seriously had began to get out of shape not doing Spiderman shit. 

He spotted the familiar hoodie and scarred hands and honestly debated on turning around. Wade caught him, though, his brown eyes locked him in place and he couldn't get away. 

The other man slowly closed the distance between them and Peter's heart gradually sped up with each step. 

When he was in front of him he looked up at Wade and the anger he had felt instantly dissipated. 

"Hey, baby boy." 

"Hi."

A big hand wrapped around his closed fist and Peter instinctively tried to pull away but Wade tightened his grip. 

"I said I wanted you to stop running away." 

"I know, I just…" 

Wade glanced around them and began to drag Peter across the street to a stairwell that led to some apartments below ground level. 

He slammed Peter against the cement wall and kissed him feverishly. Wade pinned his hands above his head, snaked his fingers between Peter's and held them firmly in place. 

"You are not leaving me again. I waited too long for you to come back just to see you walk away." 

Peter gasped when Wade latched his mouth onto his neck and bit down into the soft flesh. When he pulled away Peter could definitely tell that it would leave a bruise. 

"You are mine." 

"You can't just claim someone. I'm a whole person!" 

Wade let go of one of his hands and it tightened around Peter's neck. His heart stopped and something in him stirred up he had never felt before. 

"You are what I say you are. I started this off wanting to make you mine and I will get it. You want me, Peter. I can probably say you love me and it be true." He whispered it all into Peter's ear and sent chills through him that raised the hair all over his body. 

"I-I don't get a say? At all? What if.." 

Wade's brown eyes searched his and the intensity made Peter break eye contact. What had he gotten himself into? He welcomed this psychopath back into his life with one phone call and all this had happened. 

"What if what, Peter?" 

How could he still not be sure if the situation at hand was what he truly wanted? He couldn't deny how Wade made him feel, physically or emotionally. 

Remember what you told yourself? All or nothing. 

He sagged against the cement wall with a deep sigh. 

"Okay, I give in." 

Wade patted the side of his face and released the hand he still had a hold of. When the man stepped away Peter stumbled forward from the wall because his weight was no longer supported. 

"I will see you later. I have tacos to eat and bad guys to decapitate." 

The man left. He just left him there with nothing but the memory of a hand around his neck and words that echoed in his ears for hours. 

"You are mine."


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days at school felt chaotic. Actually, his entire life felt chaotic as if it was simultaneously falling apart and coming together at the same time. 

Wade texted him every once in a while. It wasn't constant and it wasn't anything mushy but regardless it made him feel...something. 

"Are you okay?" 

Despite how aggressive he had been with Peter the man consistently asked if he was okay. He couldn't blame him. Not after what he had done and how Wade had found him. 

"I'm okay, I'm in math class." 

After that he didn't hear from him for awhile.

It was like that for a few weeks. Off and on during the day Wade would ask how he was, how was school, was he okay, he missed him.

He hadn't seen him though and it made him wonder if Wade had gotten himself into something. He had an itch in the middle of his back that told him to go check on the other man but something stopped him. 

Wade was open about some things but very private about others. He had no hesitation helping others, hurting the bad guys but revealed nothing in depth about himself. 

Peter knew he hung out at this bar called Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children. Odd name but even more oddly fitting for the patrons that probably frequented it. 

Peter looked at the time in the corner of his phone screen while he nervously bit his nails. A dirty habit he picked up recently that he hadn't been able to shake off. 

Almost time for school to end and then he would stop by that bar. Wade would most likely not be there if he was off on some nefarious deed, maybe somebody there could tell him something. 

When the bell rang Peter hurriedly packed his bag and was out the door before anyone could stop him for a conversation or some stupid comment about the weather. 

He texted Aunt May letting her know that he would be out for awhile after school and he would see her shortly. His Aunt had grown increasingly worried about him. Peter spent less time home than she or he would have liked but that apartment was encapsulating. 

Peter followed the directions on Google maps until he reached a corner that sharply turned off into a dark alley and he saw a sign hung up that had the name of the bar on it. 

He knew he looked young, even younger for his age and going in there was a bad idea all around but he needed to know more. 

He pushed the heavy door open and when he stepped in all conversation stopped. 

"You lost kid?" 

"I-I'm looking for Wade?" 

The man behind the bar who had been cleaning glasses with an obviously dirty rag looked at him with a smirk on his face. 

"Yea? What do you want Pool for? Need a stalker gone? You have a bully at school?" 

A few of the big men in the bar laughed and mock cried, wiped their eyes. 

Peter clenched his jaw with self control, it wasn't the place for him to act out on his anger and show his ass off. No matter how badly he wanted to knock their teeth in. 

He walked over to the bar and sat down on one of the rickety stools that probably couldn't support more than his tiny frame. 

"Peter, my name is Peter and I need to know where Wade Wilson is." 

If it was paranoia that's great ; he rather his anxiety had made this whole shit up than Wade really be out there and be in danger. He doubted though that after everything Wade would just...disappear. 

The man's eyes widened and Peter had a feeling this stranger knew exactly who he was. 

That meant Wade had talked about him, had at least mentioned his name in some type of conversation. While he was happy he was on Wade's mind that much, he was also concerned that someone like this knew of his existence. 

"Yea, your Daddy is MIA right now. He won't be home from the grocery store for awhile." 

Peter immediately blushed hard enough it made him dizzy. 

"He's not, it's not like that. Where is he?" 

The man chuckled and extended a hand to the flustered teenager. "I go by Weasel, kid. You could say I'm Deadpool's bestie." 

Peter ignored the hand and put his down in his lap. "Where is he...Weasel?" 

He finally really took in the man's appearance and it was...dirty? Shaggy at best. Curly, dirty blonde hair, big framed glasses. A worn in button down short sleeved shirt and jeans that were at least a size too big. 

The man shrugged his shoulders and with that movement Peter's stomach dropped. 

"You don't know? You just said you were his bestie?" 

Weasel overturned the glass he finished cleaning and placed it on another not quite clean rag. 

"I only know jobs he wants me to know about. Jobs that he picked up from here or something that is particularly a big deal he needs help with."

Wade's secrets are his secrets. Peter dropped his head and ignored the knot that had begun to form in his throat. 

"Thanks, anyways. If he happens to call you, tell him I came by." 

Peter got up and Weasel didn't stop him as he left the disgusting bar. 

What the fuck? That whole experience was absolutely pointless besides the fact that he learned Wade talked about him to other people. 

He didn't want to be a fucking cry baby but this seemed like just desserts. He did the equivalent of leaving Wade on read for months and now he's done the same thing to him. 

\------------

Peter skipped school the next day, which was unheard of but he couldn't get out of bed. Aunt May checked in on him and he told her he was sick. In a way he was, he felt nauseous with worry, with fear. He couldn't concentrate on much else but what might have happened or where he might be. 

The teenager swung his legs over the bed and stared out the window absently. He was becoming very tired of these emotions. He hadn't felt this depressed, this unstable, this hopeless in years. Wade brought him to the side of himself that he kept neatly tucked away deep inside. 

Peter did not want to be tossed aside like some child or someone that needed to he protected. He was tired of being treated like he was helpless, like he couldn't look out for himself. Peter could lift a bus with his bare hands, he didn't need some altruistic partner that wanted to protect him. 

He slipped on some sweat pants and padded out of his bedroom into the kitchen. Aunt May was already there with half a cup of tea already nestled between her hands. 

"I know it's probably just normal teenage stuff...but you can tell me." 

Peter rested his head against the shut freezer door as he rummaged through the fridge. He knew his aunt had great motives but she wouldn't understand. 

He settled on cereal, grabbed everything he needed for it and dropped into a chair across from Aunt May. 

"I love you, Peter. Whatever you are going through, you're not alone. You are the strongest and bravest person I know." 

He dropped his head as he ate the cereal. He wanted to tell her everything, tell her so much so he wouldn't be alone like he knew he was. She didn't even know he was Spiderman. 

She sighed heavily, pushed her cup of tea away and stood up. "I'm here when you need me." 

Peter looked after her when she walked away and really fought to hold back the anger that was brewing inside him. 

Aunt May shouldn't have to go through this. She already had lost so much and if she lost him too, he knew she would lose herself. 

When he finished his food he decided it was probably a good time to get out of the house instead of dwelling on shit

\--------------

Peter hung upside down from a monkey bar at the rundown park a few blocks away. He scrolled through Facebook and groaned with discontent. It was all the same. Everything was always the same. 

He tried to distract his mind from all the bullcrap that floated around in his head. It was borderline obsessive, all that he could think about, all that mattered. It mattered more than the air in his lungs. 

Peter let himself fall and landed perfectly on his feet. He paced in circles around the park as he bit his fingernails. 

The sound of a woman screaming rung in his ears and he turned himself in that direction, he didn't need to, but it kind of helped him pinpoint the exact location. 

A block away.

Peter took off on foot towards the distressed woman and his adrenaline pumped through his veins faster and faster. 

The man had a hand around the woman's throat and she was scratching and clawing at him as his hand fumbled with her clothes. 

"Hey, asshole, I think the lady said no."

He stepped away from the woman.

"What the fuck do you want kid?" 

When the man stepped away from her the woman ran off. Peter had a small voice in his head that said run when the much larger man popped his knuckles and came towards him. 

"You're going to regret this." 

His fist swung at Peter and caught the edge of his jaw before he dodged fully out of the way. His head rung for a moment with the sudden jolt of pain. 

The taste of copper overwhelmed his senses when blood began to fill his mouth. He had a laceration in his cheek from a tooth and it stung like a bitch. Peter spat blood out in front of the man's feet, squared his stance and held up his fists. 

"You really picked the wrong day to be a pervert. "

A fight for him, especially hand to hand, usually did not take him long to finish off. He wanted to enjoy it though, wanted to let out the anger that had steadily built inside of him. 

The man charged at him and Peter jumped out of the way, which caused the man to fall off balance. Peter took that opportunity to grab him by the collar of his shirt and threw him backwards with a thud on the ground. 

He climbed onto the man's chest and began to hit him with a blur of fist. He felt the pain in his hands, he felt the sharp impact of the man's face against his knuckles. He even heard the man beg him to stop a few times but he didn't. 

He didn't stop until the man found an opening and threw Peter off of him. He returned the brutal punches he just delivered to him and the teenager took it without much of a fight. 

The teenager laid sprawled out on the pavement before he brought himself to his hands and knees. Peter contemplated how to end this quickly before things got much worse. He spit more blood out and winced when he touched his now busted bottom lip and fucked up nose, both the smell and taste of blood nauseated him.

He stood up a little dizzy, which was more than likely from a slight concussion he sustained. The other man looked at him then held his hands up in defeat. 

"I'm leaving." 

Peter turned and walked away with a limp. How did he hurt his leg? He flexed his hands into fists and it caught his breath. The bruising and cuts were extensive, he would do not that again. He enjoyed it too much and at one point he was sure he didn't want to stop. This would never happen again. 

Peter stalked off still angry but this time it was at himself. He felt like his mind was a home he was trapped in, it was windowless and he saw no way out. 

Occasionally he felt he could invite someone in, show them the many rooms he had locked up but in the end they either left or ran. When he trusted them and let them inside, he never knew how they would react to all the emptiness inside of him. He tried to make a show of how happy he was but once people saw the real him they realized he was hollow. 

Peter limped to the bathroom on the other side of the park so that he could clean himself up. There was no way he could go home if he looked this beat up. 

He pushed the door shut behind him and locked it so no one could walk in on him. 

His reflection was a stranger, no that's a lie, it was someone he thought he had defeated a long time ago. Peter's cheek was so swollen it had begun to close up his right eye. The skin was broken and a bruise had already formed around it. His lip was split with dry blood on it and it hurt to even partially open his mouth. 

Peter couldn't look at himself. He couldn't look at who he brought back to life. Tears stung at his eyes and he quickly wiped them away with his swollen hands. 

He grabbed a handful of paper towels, dampened them with water and put a drop of soap on them. Peter patted at his cheek and winced with the touch on his tender skin. His lip was easier to clean, it wasn't as close to a sensitive area. 

He let out the breath he had held while cleaning up and the tension slightly released. There wasn't much he could do for his hands and they were more noticeable than his face. 

Peter threw away the paper towels and looked at himself one last time. He carded his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look better and decided it was futile. 

He wanted to go home. He wanted home to feel like a home again. Peter hoped that Wade would be that home, give him a shelter and a place he could go to from the world. That seemed like maybe it was a mistake. 

Peter limped up the steps of his fire escape, he didn't want Aunt May to see him like this. She had so much she already worried about, Peter didn't need to be another source of worry. 

He basically fell into his bedroom through the open window and tumbled onto the floor. When he looked up he saw Wade sitting in the computer chair. 

"Are you okay?" 

Peter pushed himself up to his knees and struggled to stand up straight. "Yea, I'm good. You? I heard you were on some top secret mission." 

Peter acted as nonchalant as possible. He would not show the man how his lack of presence had affected him. 

Wade was in his Deadpool suit but he saw the tears, the fresh blood stains, the holes where he had obviously been stabbed. 

Peter winced with pain when he took his jacket off. He guessed he had either bruised or broken a few ribs, they would be healed soon but it still hurt like shit. 

"What are you doing to yourself?" 

Peter brushed his hand away and avoided eye contact as much as possible. He wanted to tell Wade the truth. He wanted to tell him everything. Peter wanted to start over, he wanted to let go of his past, he wanted to let go of the fear that kept him from opening up. 

The bigger man held the side of his face and made him look up into his eyes. He leaned down and brushed his lips against his with the gentlest of touches to not hurt him. 

"You can tell me. I am here and I promise I will not leave you." 

Peter swallowed through the tears that threatened to break through because he was so tired of crying. He was so tired of being the weak kid everyone else saw. 

Peter clutched Wade's wrist and pressed into the hand on him for a moment to relish in the warmth of the other man.

Wade was so beautiful. He saw right through all the scars, the emotional and physical ones. He understood to a degree why the mercenary was the way he was. Peter knew he would understand and he knew he couldn't let his fear drive the outcome of what might and what would happen. 

"I-I'm scared, Wade. I have lost people, I have lost myself and I don't want to again. I don't know how to love myself and I don't know how to love someone else." 

Hard brown eyes searched his soul and Wade backed away from him. He ran his hands over his head and he saw the gears that turned in his mind as he began to pace. 

"Peter, I have too. I have lost myself too, I'm pretty sure I'm still lost but when I think about you, when I see you, I get a glimpse of who I am." 

The teenager had no idea how to process that type of information. It was a weight on his chest but he felt the same way. Around Wade he knew he was safe and that the man was someone who could not be physically hurt because of him and what he did. He knew the man could protect him no matter what. 

Peter closed his eyes and collected himself before an imminent breakdown occurred. 

"I love you, Wade." The man stopped and looked at him. He really looked at him and Peter saw, no felt, the rush of emotions that ran through him. He saw the relief, the pain, the excitement and the uncertainty. Peter couldn't blame him for the doubt nor the pain. 

"I love you too, I really do. I know it's so fast, I know it's unexplained but there is something...there is something about you." 

Peter wanted to know about the man who had so many secrets. He needed to know what happened to him, what caused him to be this way and why he was so cynical and guarded. 

"Wade, tell me. Wade tell me what happened to you." 

His jaw clenched, Peter saw the vein in the side of his neck strain and the Adam's apple in his throat jumped. 

He dropped onto the bed with a hard thud and leaned forward with his face in his hands. Peter couldn't see him but he knew the man's face was probably torn with pain. 

Peter sat on the other side of the bed to give the man space. He wrung his hands because he knew whatever Wade had to say would not be easy to hear or easy to admit. 

"My mother, I don't know what happened to her, I have no memories of her. My father was an alcoholic who hated life as much as he hated me. It was daily, Peter. It was a daily basis I was reminded that I am a piece of shit, a waste of air. He beat the shit out of me constantly." Wade's expression was distant , he saw things that Peter didn't and his eyes were blank. 

"There were several times I thought when I woke up it would be day I was going to die. Half the time I kind of prayed it was but it never happened. God obviously had better things to do than help a defenseless kid." 

He chuckled but it was like shattered glass, it hurt Peter to hear that type of pain. 

"After I moved out I joined the special forces. I wanted to do something important. Maybe it was a way to prove to myself and everyone else that I could be somebody, I was a somebody. It didn't pan out. I had little ability to cope with stress, to follow orders and have someone scream at me what to do. I was dishonorably discharged after too much violence and being an alcoholic...just like my father." 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows and reached out to Wade but the man pushed his hand away. 

"That's when I found out how easily I could kill, how easily I could eradicate the people who fucked up innocent people. It gave me, it gives me a purpose, Peter. It's what keeps the sane side of my mind partially alive. The only thing." 

Wade let out a deep breath that shuddered throughout his body. He raised his hands and dropped them onto his lap.

"There you go. That's all of Wade Wilson's secrets and a little tidbit of info on why I'm crazy." 

Peter could tell that Wade was beginning to devolve with the new information being revealed. His eyes still showed no life, his face was now completely shut down. 

"Wade..Wade?" The teenager instantly was by his side and the other man grabbed him by the forearm hard enough to make Peter cry out in pain. 

"Wade, stop!" 

The mercenary's eyes snapped at him and Peter saw unadulterated anger that stopped every cell in his body. 

"Do you think you're so special you deserve this side of him? Of us? You're just a child." 

Peter flinched because those words stabbed him like a knife. He knew it wasn't really Wade but it was Wade's voice and Wade's eyes that looked at him with pure hatred. 

He didn't know what to do. He had no idea how to get through to him and it made him feel helpless all over again. 

Peter hated himself in that moment. He isolated himself so much he had no knowledge on how to help anyone but himself. He wasn't the only one in this world but he made it that way. 

"Wade, I'm here. I'm sorry I ran. I'm sorry I left you. You aren't the only one, I know it feels that way but you aren't alone. You don't have to be by yourself anymore." 

Peter inched himself over to Wade's side and sat up on his knees. He turned the man to face him and kissed him slowly with the softest caress of his lips. He hoped it would help him just as much physical touch helped anchor Peter. 

Wade blinked at him when Peter pulled away, the light in his eyes had came back and his expression was torn. 

"I'm sorry, kid. I'm so sorry." His big arms immediately wrapped around Peter and crushed him against Wade's chest. 

Peter fell against him with the action and he just let the man hold him in place. It was nice to hear his heartbeat, to feel the warmth of his body. Wade broke away and kissed Peter, his tongue darted in between his surprised lips. 

"Wade, I-" The pressure against his busted lip was sharp and the man bit down on it. Peter cried out and it was muffled by Wade's mouth. 

His hands found the hem of the teenager's shirt and raised it up and over his head. The older man paused when he saw all the scars on Peter's abdomen and chest. 

"What is..?" 

Peter looked down and realized it did look pretty bad but he was so used to it, it didn't phase him anymore. 

"I don't heal like you, Wade." 

His hands traced the worst one. It stretched across the span of his chest from his left shoulder to the end of his ribs on the right. 

It was a keloid scar, raised up with angry ridges and streaks through it from sloppy stitch work. 

"What is that from?" Wade whispered the question as if he was scared to spook Peter away and it made sense considering how standoffish the teen was about things. 

Images flashed of the fight that caused it. It was a spree killer that evaded the cops for awhile and Peter had finally tracked down one of his locations. When the man became cornered he attacked Peter with a blade that sliced right through his suit and into his chest. 

He remembered the trail of blood he left behind as he struggled to make it to Ned's. The shock on his friend's face. 

"It was just a fight. A bad guy got a little carried away with a knife." 

Wade squinted his eyes and Peter could tell the man knew he had lied but he didn't pressure him.

Instead his big hands traveled Peter's torso and pawed at the soft skin as he kissed and nibbled at his neck. 

Wade took off the top half of his suit and to Peter's surprise, even though he knew of his abilities, not a single stab wound remained. 

The scars literally did cover Wade's entire body but he was...fit. He felt the muscles in Wade's shoulders, his arms and his back. The sensation of when they flexed under his hands made Peter bite his bottom lip. 

Wade stood up and undid his utility belt, dropped the heavily torn pants into a heap on the floor. Peter crawled up to the middle of the bed and Wade pushed him on his back. 

When Wade was above him Peter's heart beat at his rib cage like it was trying to break free. The older man kissed his forehead, the tip of his nose then on the lips. He played with the waistband of Peter's pants as if to ask for permission instead of just having them ripped off of him. 

"Y-yea, I don't kno-" Wade cut him off and his pants were gone so fast Peter didn't have time to blink. "I'll be gentle." 

The strained tone in that voice and the darkness in Wade's eyes sent goosebumps down Peter's body all the way down to his toes. 

Wade placed himself between Peter's bent legs and the teenager moaned when the very obvious hardline of Wade's cock pressed into his. 

"I'm a little scared.." 

Wade's hand wrapped around Peter's erection and he lost his ability to have a coherent thought. 

"We don't have to go all the way. We can just have some fun." 

Peter swallowed past the built up fear because it was Wade. Wade wouldn't hurt him and he wouldn't force him, right? How did it even escalate to this? Wade was just in the middle of a break down and now he's half naked with him on top of Peter. 

That was the last sensible thought to cross Peter's mind before Wade's lips and warm mouth explored his very desperate body. 

He planted soft kisses down his abdomen and on his hip bones while his hands kneaded at both his thighs. He purposely avoided Peter's throbbing erection that practically begged for attention. 

Wade came back up to his mouth when Peter began to whimper and he took the teen's hand and slipped it into his boxers. 

It was a drastically different size from Peter's and it definitely made him have second doubts about going all the way. The thought of what pain it would cause threw him off that idea almost entirely. 

Wade moaned quietly when Peter stroked him achingly slow. His cock throbbed in his hand and that really turned Peter on a lot more than he thought it would. 

"You're torturing me, baby boy." His voice was gruff, probably from the amount of self control that was at use. 

Peter blushed. "I'm sorry." He quickened the pace a bit, letting his hand glide from base to tip smoothly. Wade kissed him when he moaned a bit louder to muffle the sound, his tongue dove into his mouth and tasted him. 

Suddenly Wade broke the kiss and switched positions on to his back. 

"Get up." He motioned Peter to get above him and he straddled Wade just a bit above mid thigh. 

Wade grabbed his cock, Peter's and stroked them together. The teenager's hand immediately covered his mouth and he bit into the palm of it. It felt...amazing was an understatement, it wasn't anything he had felt before and he had no words for it. 

Underneath him Wade's breathing had sped up and he blushed when he realized his eyes were entirely focused on him and his reactions. 

His hand stayed at just the tip and Peter whimpered with the amount of restraint he applied in order to not moan out loud. The soft skin and motion of the other man's cock against his, how it throbbed and how hard it was. 

Peter moaned as quietly and softly as he could but it was impossible to make no sound at all. The sound of Wade breathing heavy and occasionally moaning really brought him to the edge faster than he wanted. 

Wade thrusted his hips up, fucking his hand and the sensation was too much for Peter and his over sensitive and inexperienced body. His thighs spasmed and his body shuddered as he came with a gasp that could have easily been a yell. His cum shot thick white lines across Wade's stomach and chest that Wade used as lube.

He let go of Peter's cock and the muscles in his stomach began to spasm as he got closer and closer to the edge. Wade threw his head back when he came with a shout that probably alerted his Aunt in some way. He breathed heavily as his cum shot up his chest and he groaned loudly. 

Peter rolled off of him onto his side and laid down beside him. He was out of breath and felt like he had just ran a marathon. 

Wade chuckled and it sounded happy, it sounded so much better than the one from earlier. Peter didn't know what to say and the only word that kept coming to mind was amazing. 

"That was...amazing." 

Wade looked over at him and kissed Peter on the forehead. "That's just the tip of the iceberg, Young Grasshopper." 

Peter rolled his eyes when Wade got up and went to the bathroom to fetch a towel.

"What? You want me to call you sensei now?" 

Wade poked his head out from behind the bathroom door. 

"You can call me Daddy."


	4. Chapter 4

_Wade dropped to his knees beside Vanessa and pulled her limp body into his lap. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this much emotional pain. He had lived for so long and loved so few but she was the one. Vanessa was his salvation._

_Her brown eyes were wide open and empty, the blood soaked her shirt and stained his own. The rage that filled him was warm, it enveloped him like a lost lover he had been separated from for too long._

_Wade vowed he would never let this happen again. No one he loved would ever die because of him again._

The warm body glued to his startled him before he remembered that he had stayed the night with Peter. The small teen was encircled around him like a koala and instead of Wade feeling better, it scared him. 

The unwavering devotion Peter felt for him terrified Wade. He was the exact opposite of a good partner, a good person. He was terrible for someone who had their entire life laid out before them. 

The kid was one of the smartest individuals he had ever met and he knew deep inside somewhere that it was the truth. Peter had to know that them together was the biggest mistake. 

The teen's eyes opened and he smiled when he saw that Wade had been watching him sleep but it quickly switched to a frown. 

"What's wrong?" 

Wade looked away, a pit of fear and guilt had settled into his stomach like a lead weight. 

Peter sat up and made Wade look at him. 

"What is wrong, Wade? Wasn't last night okay?" 

The older man sat up with him and drew his knees up, drug his hands down his face. 

"This is wrong, Peter. You deserve so much more than me. So much better." 

The teen scrambled out of the bed away from Wade and began to pace nervously. Wade saw the panic, the edge of a nervous breakdown. 

"What is wrong with you? Just the other day you said I was yours? You said you were tired of me running away? Last night was amazing. It felt amazing. I-I loved it." Peter bit his bottom lip and looked down shyly. The teens face turned a bright red when he blushed. 

Wade knew what he was about to say and there was no way he could stop it. He knew once Peter said it there would be no way he could walk away. There would be no way he could do the right thing, the smart and unselfish thing. 

"Don't fucking say it, Peter. Don't you dare-"

"I love you, Wade. I know what you've done. I know what you are and who you are but I know you're not a bad person. You've done bad things and I know I might regret this but I love you."

Wade couldn't breath past whatever the fuck it was he felt. He couldn't recognize the feeling that had seized his chest and made it impossible to have coherent thoughts. 

The teen crossed the space between them and kissed him as he crawled back into the bed beside him. 

"If you want to feel guilty about anything, at least make it something worth your time."

Wade let Peter crawl into his lap, let his hands scratch and grasp at every inch of his body. The pang of guilt ate away at his conscious when he allowed Peter to push him onto his back and he straddled Wade with nothing on but a pair of underwear. 

He was too selfish to do the right thing. He was too selfish to allow Peter to be happier with someone else. Wade had quickly begun to realize Peter Parker had burrowed a hole into his dead heart and made him his life source.

Wade nudged Peter back with two hands on his shoulders. 

"I'm happy you've made up your mind. Actually, I'm ecstatic." 

The teen's shoulder sagged because Wade was being an adult, he was acting responsible and trying to hold himself accountable. Definitely foreign behavior for him as well. 

"Why does it sound like you want to say but? What is wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?" 

The big brown eyes full of pain and fear that looked down at him penetrated his soul. The eyebrows furrowed with fear and worry on that soft, innocent face made his heart melt. 

"I'm going to be honest, for the first time in a while." 

Wade closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath that rattled his bones. Peter slipped off of him and sat down by his side. 

"I'm scared. I have this fear that if I let the smallest thing bring me happiness it will be taken. The last time I allowed myself to love someone..." 

Peter looked away when tears formed in Wade's eyes, out of respect he supposed, he was grateful either way because he had never said this out loud to anyone. 

"She died, Peter. The last time I loved someone she died because of my stupidity, because of what I do for a living. Do you understand how much it would destroy me if a single hair on your head was damaged because of me?" 

"I'm not a child and I might not be as invincible as you but I'm harder to kill than most people. This is my choice, my decision to make and if it ends up being something catastrophic, then it will be my fault. Not your's." 

Wade pushed up off the bed and restlessly paced the room. 

"I need a drink and I need some air. Come on, teeny bopper, we're going to Margaret's." 

The teenager looked at him perplexed but he got off the bed and retrieved clothes in silence. 

Once he was done he still hadn't spoken a word, he hadn't looked in Wade's direction. He knew this was classic self-sabotage but he also knew this course of action was the most selfless thing he had done in decades. 

"Don't look so confused. You're not a child then you can have a few drinks with me."

"Yea-yeah but-" 

Wade cocked an eyebrow and flashed a devilish grin. 

"But what? Live my life for a day and let's see if it'll make you rethink that decision." 

The teen's hands found the side of Wade's face but he brushed them away as soon as they touched him. 

"Why are you doing this? You're finally getting what you wanted and you're being a complete...a complete jerk." 

They walked into the bar and every eye immediately darted in their direction. Wade wanted to gloat, wanted to show off the piece of candy by his side but thought better of it. At least until Peter is of legal age. 

He knew that majority of the people in the lovely establishment were either convicted felons or ones who eluded the law but that made it worse. Leverage over Deadpool wouldn't work out well for anyone in a situation. 

He dropped down at the bar and forcefully pulled Peter down on a stool beside him. The teen shot him a dirty look and rubbed his arm. 

"Weasel, I need the cheapest, shittiest thing on your shelf." 

Wade smiled at the expression on Peter's face. He slightly delighted in corrupting the famously, morally uptight Spiderman. 

Weasel slid the glass in front of Wade and he shot it back without hesitation. Peter sniffed it before he did the same and violently coughed up both of his lungs. 

"How do you? How could you?" His eyes watered and his face was bright red. Wade rubbed one of the tears that strayed off of his cheek and Peter's hard expression softened. 

"Years of being fucking poor. Not everyone came from or knows people with money, Peter." 

Weasel cleared his throat and leaned forward on the dirty bar. 

"Are we celebrating something or you just getting pretty boy drunk?" 

Wade slid 100 dollars across the counter and Weasel snatched it up. 

"You only giving me this? Seriously?" 

"I'm sorry did I miss you? I didn't see you when I got my arm cut off and had to blow a guys chest out with one arm and one eye." 

"What? What did you do?" Peter grabbed Wade's arm and the look of concern made him nauseous. How could he find the good in everyone and everything? Was is truly that easy to be sickingly optimistic? 

"I hunted a guy down and put a dinner plate sized hole in his chest. Pussy had to handicap me first, though."

Peter let his hand slip off Wade's arm and he expected to see horror settle into his brown eyes but it never did. 

"I'm sure he had it coming. I mean, you wouldn't do that unless he deserved it....right?" 

Wade rolled his eyes and tapped the counter for another shot. "The old me would have ripped his head off. Using a big gun is me being...merciful? No, that isn't the right word. I would say more time efficent." 

Peter straightened his shoulders and took the shot that Weasel set in front of Wade. 

"I already know what you have done, what you do. You were a mercenary Wade, you still are to a degree." He threw the shot back and looked Wade dead in the eyes. 

Those stubborn brown pools wouldn't waver from the eye contact he held with Wade. He broke it with a scoff because the kid was stupid. Absolutely stupid which was a surprise because in every other aspect of life he was a fucking genius.

"It'll take more than that, Wade." 

Wade slapped the counter hard enough it made Peter jump and startled the other patrons. 

"Alright, let's go brave boy. Let's see how you fair on a job." 

Wade drug Peter outside to the alley beside the bar and threw him against the brick wall. 

"What are yo-" 

His hand lightly squeezed Peter's throat when he smashed his mouth against his. Surprisingly, the teen moaned and it stirred up dirty demons in Wade's body. 

"That's just in case you never let me near those succulent lips again." 

"It's not going to happen." 

Wade smirked in response. "I admire the determination." 

He pulled a slip of paper out of the inner pocket in his jacket. 

"The guy we're going after actually has a thing for under age kiddies. Unlike me though, he likes them a little too young for my taste. So, we're going to go cut off his cock and shove it down his throat or something like that." 

Peter hesitated for a moment but the same determination slid back into place. 

"Let's go." 

\-------------------------------------

Wade knocked down the door with a violent kick of a black boot. He donned his gun and nudged for Peter to stand behind him. 

The man, Yancy, was passed out on the couch in front of a white static tv screen and a beer loosely gripped in a hand. 

Wade stalked over to him and pressed the barrel of his gun to the man's temple. 

"Wake up." He switched the safety off and the man jumped awake, wide eyes found Wade's face and he screamed. Wade quickly covered his mouth with a gloved hand. 

"Another peep out of your mouth and I will cut off your fucking tongue." 

Wade glanced back at Peter and the teen flinched. He wasn't sure the expression on his face but he knew it wasn't exactly warm and welcoming. 

"Yancy, yancy, yancy. I heard you like the young variety. Do little snot noses and pig tails get you off? Do you like watching them trust you and you fucking just rip it away?!" 

"No! No, you have the wrong guy! I don't know what you're talking about!" 

Wade chuckled and pulled a folded up picture of a little girl out of his back pocket. 

"I really think Sally would have a different opinion. I mean, it's just me, but anyone who can do what you did-" Wade cocked his gun and shoved it under the man's chin. The urge to blow off his head was overpowering. "shouldn't be allowed to waste anymore air." 

Peter grabbed his wrist and that split moment of distraction gave the man enough opportunity to knock the gun out of his hand and break the beer bottle across his face. It shattered in a million pieces that showered all over Wade. 

"God damn it, Peter!" He pushed the teen away and he stumbled back a few inches. 

Wade pulled out a large shard of glass that was lodged in his cheek and it made a wet sound that obviously nauseated Peter. 

He twirled it around in between his fingers before he threw it at Yancy and it stabbed his carotid artery. The blood sprayed on Wade's face with the impact, temporarily blinding him and his eyes stung.

"Wa-Wade, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" 

''What the fuck were you trying to accomplish? There is nothing in this child fucker worth saving! You cannot hesitate!"

Wade shoved Yancy and when he landed on his back Wade grounded the glass in deeper with his foot. "You want to be a part of my life? This is what I do!" The shard severed the tendons and the man began to drown in his own blood that pooled out. 

Wade turned to Peter as he wiped the blood out of his eyes and he didn't make eye contact with him.

"I-I love you, Wade. He deserved it, he did someth-" 

"Stop defending me! How can you not see how bad I am for you?" 

He stormed over to Peter and grabbed him by the shoulders. The teen flinched but he didn't try to get away. 

"You haven't even asked where I went. Who I killed. In fact, you haven't asked much about me at all. You haven't asked why or how I do it. You haven't asked if I felt guilt, if it eats me inside or if I'm just a fucking monster. Not once!"

Peter slumped in Wade's arms. He was pretty sure he saw tears being fought back and that was what he expected. That's what a normal person's reaction would be to what Peter just witnessed. 

"Do I really want to know, Wade? Is it something I need to know?" 

Peter's eyes met his and the world came to a complete stand still. "I don't want to know because if I do...I'm not sure what would happen." 

Wade's face scrunched up with pain but it wasn't physical no, no it was emotional. It was a nice a little dagger that had become wedged into his chest cavity. Is that what he wanted? He wanted Peter to be sensible and at least acknowledge what he did, what he was?

Wade hadn't heard voices in quite a while, he hadn't spiralled into some manic state that usually led to...murder. The only time the voices started back up was when he hadn't satiated them, him, the thing that struggled on a daily basis to take control.

'Does he really expect you to stop? It's your job. You're the bad guy who kills bigger bad guys.'

Wade stepped away from Peter and pressed the butt of his gun into his temple. He waved it around aimlessly as spoke to someone no one else could hear.

"He didn't ask that. He didn't even say that." 

He was almost positive Peter had said something but the voices were so loud all he could do was read his lips. 

'He didn't say it out loud but you know it's implied. If he can't accept you the way you are, then maybe he isn't the one.' 

Wade straightened up and held a pointer finger out in front of him. 

"Vanessa was the one. Vanessa will always be the one but Peter is pretty damn close. He's fucking near perfect...just like her."

Peter stepped into Wade's line of sight and the voices faded like background music. 

"What are they saying?"

"Y-you know? I mean, it's pretty obvious, never mind." 

Peter grabbed the hand that was dangerously waving around the gun and Wade stopped to look at him. 

'Because of you, Wade. The same thing will happen to Peter.' 

Wade unsheathed the dagger that was holstered on his waist and stabbed himself in the thigh. The pain was excruciating, it immediately brought him to his knees and brought on a sense of relief he hadn't felt for some time. 

"What the fuck are you doing?! Wade? Wade?" 

His vision began to tunnel and the last thing he remembered was Peter hovered over the dagger that was hilt deep in his leg. 

The first thing he saw when he woke up was Vanessa's name carved into his coffee table. The couch did no favors to his aching body although it was already healed. He attempted to roll over but every muscle protested in agony. 

'He heard her name. You said it out loud, Wade.' 

Wade squeezed his eyes shut, willing for the voices to fade enough to have even a single coherent thought. 

'You lied to him.'

"It wasn't a lie, I simply didn't tell him. How is that a lie?" 

He had spent years justifying his actions. The people he killed, the people he tortured, the pain he inflicted on himself. Now he was trying to justify the shit he was putting Peter through. 

How fucked was that? How fucked was Wade Wilson he thought there was a way to justify the fact that he stalked, manipulated and killed someone in front of a 17 year old? 

Wade squeezed his fists until he felt his nails dug into the palm of his hands. 

It was time to end this. It was time to set Peter Parker free from Wade Wilson. 

He slowly sat up and Peter appeared from the bathroom with a worried expression on his soft face. 

"You okay? You really...you really lost it back there." 

The teen sat down beside him and the weight displacement sent a shock through his body. 

"I'm fine." 

Wade leaned forward and wrung his hands together, they had began to get clammy, his heart raced. 

He knew this was the right thing to do. So why did he feel it was so wrong? 

"Wade, what's wrong? You're scaring me." 

"I think you should leave. I think you need to walk out that door and never look back. You need to forget that I exist, that we ever met, that we ever kissed. You need to forget that I ever loved you, Peter." 

"Fuck you." 

That wasn't the reaction he expected. The slap that proceeded it was also unexpected. The hits to his chest took his breath because this anger was not typical of Peter. 

"Fuck you! You made me love you! You made me trust you! You made me choose you!" 

Wade grabbed Peter's wrist to stop the blows to his sore body and the teen slumped into sobs. 

"I am not going anywhere. Why don't you understand that I don't fucking care if you are a monster? I don't care that you hurt people. I don't care if you are the most toxic person possible for me. I need that in my life!" 

He let go of him and Peter fell back against the couch. 

"I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of you fighting against what you wanted." 

The flood of emotions that flowed through the teen was so unfamiliar to Wade. He never let down those walls, he never let himself lose control. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Peter." 

"It's a little too late for that. Don't you think?" 

Peter exhaled heavily and stood up from the couch. 

"I'm going to get some food. If you are gone when I get back...then I'm gone too."


End file.
